Life is like a Box of Chocolates...Scratch that...

Metaphorically, my life resembles a closet.  Inside my closet lies hidden potential; however, it is cluttered with items that no longer fit…Yet, I can’t seem to get rid of them.  I rationalize their place in my closet/life.  Sure it doesn’t fit me anymore but what if I lose weight/gain weight? Sure it’s sort of faded but it’s soft.  Sure it’s out of style but what if it appears on the cover of Vogue next month? Sure this relationship isn’t healthy but what if I can change the person? Sure this is a sin but there are worse sins out there.  Sure I’m not following God that close but I am doing WAY better than that guy.   

Many outfits hang in my closet each serving a specific purpose… my church clothes, my work clothes, my workout clothes, my lounging-around-the-house clothes…etc.  Sometimes I feel that is how I go about my daily life…putting on the right outfit to fit in.  I am in front of Barb and Lars (the parents)… make them proud.  I am at work… act responsible.  I am with my non-religious friends… don’t share the gospel. 

…Everything—and I do mean everything—connected with that old way of life has to go…Get rid of it! And then take on an entirely new way of life—a God-fashioned life, a life renewed from the inside and working itself into your conduct as God accurately reproduces his character in you.   (Ephesians 4:22-24, Message)

I just cleaned out my closet literally and I couldn’t feel better about it!  I was harsh and threw away everything that didn’t fit my new lifestyle.  Now, getting dressed is fun and easy because I don’t have to sift through all the riffraff to find what I am looking for.  I also found clothes I didn’t know I owned.   

Feeling so energized about my newly organized closet, I thought, why not tackle my metaphorical closet?  Hopefully in the process I’ll find spiritual gifts I didn’t know I had. 

Winston: Pet or Preacher!?

Winston has been teaching me so much about life and, therefore, due to popular demand, I am blogging…again.

#1 Finding Love, Avoiding Failure

 

Sunday, the day the Lord has made.

Sunday June 5^th, the day I tried to buy happiness. 

Since I was a wee tot, I had always wanted a puppy.  Note to self, NEVER purchase a puppy at 8pm and plan on sleeping that same night.  Winston is a 1.6 pound, 12 week old, maltipoo puppy (Maltese and poodle) and quite possibly the cutest thing EVER...true, I may be biased.  :) 

I imagine my first few hours with Winston were comparable to those of a new mother.  I was in a state of panic wondering if I would have what it takes to raise a young pup.  It was uncharted territory… a new adventure.  Would he learn to trust me? Would he grow up to be big and strong? 

Would I fail him?

 

As the hours progressed, I began to answer my questions.  Unbeknownst to me, puppies will continue to eat food if it is placed in front of them regardless if they are hungry.  Ironically humans have the same tendency…hmmm.  To make a long story short, Winston got sick.  Immediately, I saw this set back as my fault.  At this point, I would like to tell you that things took a turn for the best and Winston became self-sufficient.  Wrong.  He had potty accident after potty accident that night and whimpered until the wee hours of the morning.       

I was ready to throw in the towel.  I was NOT cut out to be a provider.  He would be much better in someone else’s hands.  I was beginning to believe the lies.  In an emotional and exhausted state, I did what any child would do…I ran to my mommy.  With a tear stained face, I told Barb I was taking him back.  I had buyer’s remorse.  It happens so frequently in our society… we have hopes that the splurge will fill the aching void only to discover our ignorance post-purchase.   Barb asked me a simple question… “why?”.  My response was brutally honest: he doesn’t love me and I failed him. 

For the past 21 years, that is how I’ve lived my life: (A) Look for love (B) Don’t fail. 

As I began to recount the tale to my friends, their responses shocked me.  I live my life the same way.  So now that we were all in the same boat, how do we find a new vessel?  How do we fill the void?     

I believe the answer lies in our provider…God.  Thankfully, he is unlike me and doesn’t consider throwing in the towel.  He sees our potential and is patient.  He is excited to train us.  God’s love for us is SO much more than “puppy love”.  Just as I am there for Winston, He is there for us…now is a good time to mention that I didn’t get rid of my puppy.  He will be there to celebrate the little victories in our lives (Winston going potty outside) and to carry us when we need help (carrying Winston up the stairs).  While Winston follows close behind my heels, I can’t help but ask…Why am I not following God this close?